King Crab Attack! is not a short film about the uprising of a king parasite and many of his followers that all live on your balls, and no it’s not about a delicious crab dinner in an upscale restaurant gone awry after the cooks let the dinner go cold and nuke it in an unfamiliar microwave that they don’t know fell through a wormhole from a decidedly crabby alternate universe that mutates anything within it into a gigantor freak, although that would be awesome and a borderline acceptable alternative back story to the actual plot of the film which is this: Holy shit, that crab is f*cking huge! Snip! Snip! ARGHGHGLHH! Snip! Also:
Transgenic giant crabs attack the beaches of Trouville. The evil Raymond Santos, owner of a nearby processing plant, seeks to increase his company?s profitability by mucking about with the genetic structure of ordinary crabs, which proceed to do what all good self-respecting critters do in those circumstances: they grow to an enormous size and go on a rampage of destruction. They are uncontrollable. Basile Garaud, a member of the coastguard, conducts an investigation into the matter.
Gregoire Sivan’s KING CRAB ATTACK is a full short film done as a trailer, referencing 1950s giant insect flicks. It stars Jean-Pierre Martins (La Vie en Rose), Serge Dupire, Charlotte Marin, Etienne Chicot, Martine Fontaine and a bunch of really big crabs
How excellent would it be if at the end of life instead of Death taking you by the hand and walking elegantly into the light, he just ran your ass over with a bumper car killing you on the spot, leaving your spirit infested carcass on the street for someone else to clean up. That’s what Simon Duncan gets to enjoy until that glorious day comes in the form of a painting given to him by street art god Banksy after he respectfully changed his band’s name from Exit Through The Gift Shop to Brace Yourself to avoid confusion with Banksy’s new film of the same name:
The painting arrived outside Simon Duncan?s west London home inside a battered old van. Overnight it has put him at the heart of street culture and made him £200,000 wealthier. The new work by Banksy was sent unexpectedly last week to Duncan, a 41-year-old web developer, as compensation for the world-renowned graffiti artist having coincidentally chosen the name of Duncan?s band as the title for his film, Exit Through the Gift Shop.
Porn parodies have always been an integral part of any respectable society, I mean where would we be without Dong of the Dead, or You’ve Got Male Genitalia? Dead in a ditch somewhere, that’s where. And in keeping with this scrupulus tradition, I present to you the trailer for Hustler’s XXX parody of Curb Your Enthusiasm, which sounds fucking hilarious, but one thing I’m not looking forward to is that Larry’s awkward stare downs which are prevalent and probably encouraged in pretty much all pornos will actually fit right in
Star Wars Uncut is an awesome recreation of Star Wars: A New Hope in which A New Hope is cut into 472 15 second clips (wait! I thought it was supposed to be Star Wars Uncut, now it’s been cut into 472 pieces?! Am I taking crazy pills here?!) and fans claim one of the 472 clips and rework it through means of animation and shoddy Chewie costumes made of shag carpet, resubmit it and the guys behind the project string all the clips back together into one movie, which is awesome but I think they should probably change the name of the project to Star Wars Uncut: A New Hope That George Lucas Won’t Force Choke This Project With A Cease And Desist Order, Who’s Got Money? He Goes Away If You Give Him Money, just to be safe.
There’s a five minute teaser after the jump, but I’d actually recommend heading over to the official site as, provided you don’t go insane from hitting ‘next’ buttons and have a few hours to kill, you can view the entire movie there and compare the reworked scenes with the originals
Mr. Plinkett, your favorite serial killer who brought you the 70 minute review of The Phantom Menace, and an 18 minute Avatar review, is back with an epic 88 minute, 9 part review of Attack of the Clones that shows you why George Lucas is a money hungry dick who has defecated on your child-like sense of joy and wonderment established by the first trilogy, and why Attack of the Clones should be renamed Sucks Balls 2 With Lightsabers.
[ Update: Cartoon Network filed a copyright claim and the first vid has been yanked off the internets, even though they own the rights to the Clone Wars tv show, and this review is about an entirely different dilution of the Star Wars Universe Attack of the Clones , I guess production studios don't have to make sense, they just flail their arms wildly while making absurd, unreasonable demands and everyone complies, parts 8-9 after the jump ] Read the rest of this post >>>
I’m Here is Spike Jonze’s new 30 minute robolove short film that will probably make you wish you were in love. Not me though, it makes me wish I could turn into a hardass robot Sean Connery and void some fembot’s manufacturer warranty ALL NIGHT LONG. It has a very cool interactive intro too, you get to pretend to walk across the street to the movie theater, buy a ticket, sit down and see things from the view of inside the theater, just like when you buy a torrent cam bootleg so that guy with the bad breath will leave you alone, except you can’t hear the guy in the next row’s eating noises, which, personally, is the best part of any perfectly legal dvd Hughhh crunch crunch hguhhhh
The whole thing is now available for free online. Linky below.
Warren Lich is Shaun Rana’s new steampunk masterpiece. The plot details are pretty slim as of now, but it has an awesome comic book, pulpy, Sin City feel to it, and the concept trailer was made on the measly budget of 1,000 Euros. I also checked out the official site and from what I can decipher (read) it goes something like this: something,_____, rebellion, and a ooh a bounty hunter. So settle down, dim the lights, grab some popcorn, and flip on this steampunk concepty trailer goodness for 4 whole minutes. Then go do whatever after that. What did you think I was going to plan your whole night for you? Leave dude.
Hit the jump for full concept trailer. No not that kind of hit, you bounty hunter scum. Be gentle. Read the rest of this post >>>
Above is a recent set-in-progress photo of The Hobbit courtesy of some guy who visited the set, located in Matamata, New Zealand, and decided to whip out the old camera. (More pics after the jump)
And an even more exciting bit of news comes from Gandalf’s blog: The Hobbit crew is set to begin filming in June.
EDIT: Gandalf pulled a mad wizard psych out, and boom, now it’s set to begin in July.
I’m sure you know what all of this means; we need to begin preparing for how epic this movie is going to be immediately.
(Frantically puts batteries in Sting replica)
I don’t know about you, but I still need to grow out my foot hair and practice breathing out strictly out of my mouth again.
Huhhh huhhh…still got it.
The Shire looks so beautifully awesome that not living there makes want to cry a little. Actually, I think I will go have a good cry.
Casting is about to begun for a new character in Men In Black 3, ‘Yaz’, and as much as I want to say “AW JAEYZUS CHROIST! WHY ARE YOU MAKING THIS?!” It sounds like they’re making good choices as far as casting with Jemaine Clement (rumored), and Etan Cohen attached to write (Tropic Thunder, Idiocracy): [...]
